After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
