dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
