question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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