So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
