Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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