K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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