they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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