your thong is hanging out like whoa
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
