Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
