this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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