we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
