her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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