Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just pee around me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
