I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
