wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
