Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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