Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
