what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
