yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
