She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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