1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
