He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
