great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
