he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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