.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
