Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
