she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I would ride that face into the sunset
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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