if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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