yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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