he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
