We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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