come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
