I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
