??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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