I need help removing her.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
