things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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