i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
