I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
