I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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