Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
