Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
