I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
