Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
