Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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