I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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