I hate your face
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
