I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
