He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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