Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize