addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize