So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
pop tarts are not kleenex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
