You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We left an ass print on the piano.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
