She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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