Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
