So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
