I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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