he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
