the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
