I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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