Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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