Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
