her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
