sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
