I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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