i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
